Sunday, May 14, 2017

This Is Going To Be The Worst Day.........

I know you were hoping it would be a joke.  But it is not, unfortunately.

For the last week we have been helping Chloe, my Basset girl.  She has been to the vet twice, that sarcoma is growing fast now.  It is closing in her colon by pressing against it internally. 

Her haunch is swelling so much I can see the changes from morning to afternoon.

On Friday, I called the vet to see if they could give me something that would soften her stools so they could bypass the bulge.  We were already doing what we could with the Benefiber and pumpkin.

Discussing things with Stephen Lee, on of my two trusted vets, he said he wanted to go in once more and see if it has invaded the colon wall.  If it has, there will be nothing to do for her.  If it hasn't yet, he can try to remove some of it and buy her another month. 

 At which time there will be not much to do for her.  He surgery is tomorrow afternoon.  Today may be the last day with her. 

She has always eaten well, but yesterday she began refusing her food.  And last night she paced and panted, an obvious sign of pain.  I slept little. 

This dog doesn't deserve the pain and discomfort.  She is such a sweet girl.  I hurt so badly for her.  And Frank is a basket case.  She is, after all, his dog.  She chose him.

I don't even have any pictures of her because Andrew has never come over to set up my new hard drive.  I never found the old one.  And I hope when he can connect that one we can download the backups from before the flood.  I hope. 

Both Frank and I misunderstood when Andrew sent the computerized "meeting request" for Mother's Day Dinner at City Cafe.  It was Saturday and not Sunday like we assumed it would be.  When I called Carrie in shock, she said they already had plans for today. 

I wanted this day to be so special, my mother never acknowledged Mother's Day for me. even with a card.  I had all these plans.  So much for that. 

Frank gave me a card and a balloon and went off to do some work with Greg at the CAAWS shelter.

I wish I could just go live in a hole somewhere.  This sucks......


7 comments:

  1. You are a good mother and Frank a good father by not allowing Chloe to be in pain. May peace be with you in your decisions for her future.

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  2. Hugs ... Chloe knows you both love her and will only do the best for her.

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  3. I know your pain only too well. Hugs

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  4. Don't let it suck. You have a wonderful daughter who tried to spend time with you to celebrate you. here was a misunderstanding, but it doesn't mean she loves you less - with all the loving things she has done over the last year you shouldn't doubt how important you are as her mother. I think you are so concerned about Chloe that you are very upset about everything. My daughter loves her furbabies at that level and I can't even think of going to the vet when one is as ill as Chloe so I hope as awful as this day is you can somehow comfort Chloe and find comfort in her love. Remember Carrie loves you very much and poop happens. One day doesn't make love - it is how she treats you every day and I have read so many good things this year including the day you watched your grand baby being born. You are a great mom having a very bad awful day.

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  5. I'm so sorry. You don't deserve this pain but you are a survivor and will get thru this. I'll always remember you saying that choosing to end a loved ones life with dignity to stop the pain is one day of the worse day of your life but it's worth all the thousands of days of joy you have gotten from that loved one. My heart goes out to you and Frank.

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  6. So sorry to hear about Chloe and that the Mother's Day plans did not work out the way you wanted them to.

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