My pants are afire!
Fix? I say. Realization hitting me that he was not quite ready to give up those pants just yet. I fixed them, I say -- spreading my hands out in a Vanna White wave toward the strips on the floor.
His face looks like that guy on the phone commercial where the girl jumps up and screams at the spider ap on his screen and the other guy beats his phone with the shoe. Yep, just like that.