Well, today I spent some quality time over lunch with my expensive quilt pattern. It needed some air after being in that shipping sleeve for so long. And I wanted to make sure the place we ate was appropriate for its social standing, after it does come from money. I ate at Thai Chili. The proprietor loved the pattern, but I was not about to let her touch it, the rich have their priorities, you know.
The expensive quilt pattern shared a meal with the most wonderful Lettuce Chicken and some Hot and Sour Soup that was so hot I choked in the middle of the meal. The gentleman at the next table over grew quite concerned over the sounds I was making. Sputtering and gagging. It must have been terrible for the other patrons to hear me. He kept turning around and asking me if I was OK and could he help. I thanked him politely and tried to stop choking, or at least choke more quietly because I wanted to take the spotlight off me and that pattern in case he had designs on it.
I really do not like things that hot. And she knows that. I wonder why she put all those chilies in there......maybe she is lusting after my expensive pattern for herself. Hmmmm. She is, after all, an Asian woman with a knife. Maybe she was going to knock me off and take it to sell on the black market, like they do kidneys.....
At one point I thought I was going to die right there, and that expensive pattern would have been for naught. Worse yet, I have not had a chance to change my will so it will have a good home after I am gone. Now, lets see.....who do I like the most? Maybe we need a contest of some sort to determine who has the best offer.
And thinking about it, I probably should get an addendum to the insurance policy to cover it. I wouldn't want it to accidently get dunked into some egg drop soup next time out.
glen: see, I can do short stories as well as the next guy and you didn't have to pay a dime!