Thursday, September 10, 2015

Mom, continued.

I wanted to thank all my blogging friends for the outpouring of love and sympathy for me and my family.  it means so much to hear those words of condolences.

Please continue reading.  Since this is blogger and not my normal format I couldn't figure out how to make the pictures smaller to fit the text. 

This is what I will read tomorrow at graveside.  

I didn't think that I would be so affected by this. We were so ready for her to leave this incarnation as her body was failing so.  The Alzheimer's had taken everything she had; the nursing home had taken all her possessions. But no matter what, she was my mother and it is affecting me.

I told Frank I have no regrets about anything I've done in the last eight years for her. I have always made sure she was comfortable, she had what she needed. She saw the best doctors I could find. Even when she didn't know who I was I was still making sure I knew who she was.

The Bhagavad-Gita states that worn out garments are shed by the body; Worn-out bodies are shed by the dweller within the body. New bodies are donned by the dweller, like garments. 

She followed the teachings of Eckankar and was a member of the A.R. E, The Association of research and enlightenment.  Most people know Edgar Casey and his ability to read the Akashic records.  When I was growing up one of her good friends was a life reader.  Through the ARE my mother met authors like Jess stern and  Brian Weiss.  And she was active in readings and activities.  My father called her SPCA group.

You could really get my mother going if you said in the next life you wanted to become back as a dog. Dogs were above humans in the non-worldly planes and you had to aspire to become one!

I am sure she chose her time to go because now her soul was needed in another incarnation. I am sure she has found her next garment.

So tomorrow we release butterflies. In Greek the word "butterfly" and the word soul" are the same, psyche.

This picture was taken by my grandfather in New Orleans when my mother was about 13 years old. My grandfather  dabbled in photography and made some postcards about New Orleans and sold them through DH Holmes Department store on Canal Street.  She is wearing, of course, one of the outfits my grandmother made for her.

My mother loved rocks. My father would get so angry because she would stop in random places and pick up rocks. She had collections of rocks everywhere. One year Frank had a load of rocks delivered to our house to create a walkway in our backyard. My mother was in seventh heaven. She would sit out there for hours with the dogs, In the Rockpile looking for fossils and interesting looking rocks.

I have lived here for 30 years and have found just a few interesting things. But my mother would find handfuls every time she stepped out.

My grandfather took this picture in New Orleans on Mardi Gras day. I don't know what year but look at the car over her right shoulder.

This is a picture my father took at the wedding of her dear friend Betty Jean. Miss Betty Jean was my godmother and they served in sorority together. My mother and Miss Betty Jean loved that so much that they made her daughter Debbie rush me in the sorority. Boy, was that not my thing. My mother should've known that.  She was very upset with me for not getting accepted into the sorority but I really didn't understand what all was going on. I didn't understand why I should be stuck in the middle of all the popular girls when I was too tall, too this or too that.   

My mother loved my tall Marine Brother and she was so proud of him for becoming the man he is. Kenny looks so much like my father I am sure her heart stopped every time she set eyes on him.  I know mine does. She would attend grandparents day activities at his kids schools and spends a lot of time with them when they were young. She would tell me that his wife Michelle was short but she had a big heart to make up for that.  

It occurred to me as I woke this morning, that I don't have anymore of the old ones that I need to take care of. I have been so many years with Aunt Edith and my mom and Frank's mom.  And now my job is done. They're all gone.

And I'm ready to look to the next generation

Goodbye Momma. Let me know when you get back.


  1. My sincere condolences on the loss of your mom. What a lovely tribute this is. She sounds like an interesting person, and your words are respectful of her perspective and a celebration of her unique life.

  2. Beautifully written. I was amazed at the depth of my grief after my mother's Alzheimer's death - like you, we were ready for her to be released from this world. Be gentle with yourself in the coming days/weeks ... Sending even more hugs.

  3. She was so beautiful! A kindred spirit. I would prefer incarnation above all the other options. So I would like to think that somewhere down the road you will be taking a walk on a beautiful day and will see the snout of a happy go lucky Swissy poking her nose around the side of a big ol beautiful rock. She will smile with a her eyes and you will know it's all gonna be ok.

  4. What a beautiful tribute to your Mom. Thank you for sharing! After reading her story and your role as a caregiver it makes me reflect on what happened to Dad. He was in the throws of Alzheimer's, but still knew who his kids and grandkids were by name and knew who he was. He could have possibly still be alive if it weren't for the circumstances that happened that led to his death, but I guess the universe had a plan. Take care.

  5. My condolences. You really have a big heart and I can understand how you respected your Mother's life. A beautiful tribute to her. When my Mom passed, her absence in my life affected me way more than I could imagine. It helped when blogger friends reminded me to show myself compassion and to be gentle with myself and I am wishing you the same.


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