When we were growing up, it was obvious that my mother favored my brother, who is 5 years younger than I. it stemmed, I think, from the fact that I was not a girly-girl who wanted to be in laces and frills and dresses and do girl things. My mother named me after the Good Witch in the Wizard of Oz because she envisioned a pink, blonde head with heaps and heaps of curls, and lots of sweet smiles. I turned out very Italian, dark straight thin hair and totally a tom boy. She would tell me how disappointed she was that I was not like Glenda on the movie screen or the kids in the Leave It To Beaver sit-com.
When I was 16 I was not allowed to take driving lessons at school like my friends. It was my cousin Terry who taught me to drive in his beautiful little 240Z. We had one TV because they didn't want TVs in the bedrooms. The same with the phone, I was not allowed to do more than call my girlfriends to confirm a time to meet or something about school. When Kenny turned 16 they bought him a car, he had a TV and a phone in his room.
When I was 17 and a Junior in high school and all my friends were making plans to attend some sort of college or training program, I was told that girls didn't go to school and that they were saving their money because Kenny needed to go to college. Funny, now I have two post graduate degrees and was Valedictorian at Southeastern Louisiana University after finishing a 4 year undergraduate degree in 2 1/2 years even.
When my father died, my mother gave Kenny his car. I got his cuff links.
about 10 years ago
Now that my mother is in the nursing home and hospice, I am the one making the decisions, paying the bills, and watching her slowly die. My brother has told me not to expect money to care for mom from him. Go figure. All that college education they gave him didn't teach him about humanity.
I am not even sure that he or his family has been up here to see her since she moved to the nursing home last year. But who knows.
I made my peace with myself a few years ago, it still upsets me though. To think I now have charge of the one who wanted the other. But I stepped up to take the job.
moving into Assisted Living 3 years ago
So yesterday I made the decision to remove the medication that was supposed to increase her appetite and stop the weight loss. We knew from the beginning two weeks that it really wasn't working anyway.
Isn't it funny like that, by all rights and priveleges, Kenny should have made that decision.