Friday, February 24, 2017

Starting on the quilting studio tomorrow

We were at a meeting with our financial advisor earlier this morning.  I told him that I felt like nothing was bringing me joy...no furniture, no cabinets, not even the boxes I was uncovering.  He, in his eternally wonderful optimism, said....well isn't it the fact that you and the people you love are alive and your dogs are alive make you happy.  If you have blankets to cover them and food to feed them, you should be happy.

Yes, that is the way it should work.  The rest shouldn't matter.  But it does.  And I want it to.  That will in some way validate my loss and the struggle to overcome and the time lost putting it back together again.  I want the world to validate this process and know it is real.  because, believe you me, it is very real, very very real.

Geez, I need my quilt studio. I need to work this out in that design wall.  Remind me of this, won't you?

John has been trying to convince Frank he can retire.  That it is OK.  In this last half year since the flood, the investments have made more than we took in in salary between the two of us.  I say go for it.  He says not yet.  He doesn't know how to stop working and know the money will still be there.  He can't imagine it any other way,  so this is good for him to meet with John like this.,,

So while he is making a lot of money, heck I am going to spend it.

Tomorrow the twins are starting work on my quilt room build out.  I need to get my machine from Paula's house to accurately measure the cut out.   I don't think it is in Lafayette, and Carrie said someone came to get the machine specifically, and I think that was Paula and Glen.......hence it should be at Paula's house.  It could be at the Quilt Haus, though. We still have boxes there, too.

I also found some of my art portraits on canvas while I was there.  I took some of the dogs home with me, and got to thinking that I needed a long, low piece in the foyer.  Around this piece I need to put all my dog portraits.  From Way back, too.  Like my Irish setters.  I need to talk to a new artist I was introduced to this week.  Maybe she can make me a couple to fill in the missing pups from the early years.

I need to collect all the dog portraits and line them up to show you.  I bought a specific piece of furniture to go into the foyer to feature the dogs.  And create a bit of display of some of Frank's treasured mementos from trips.  That comes home as soon as I can talk to a delivery guy to bring it here,  it is a unique piece, possibly one of a kind from a gallery here.

I will have to take pics for you while the work in the Studio happens!

Now, I could get happy about that...maybe!





4 comments:

  1. Take it all at your own pace, hun. Don't beat yourself up if you're not happy every second. You have to work through it all - mourning the losses AND enjoying the new successes. And you are doing just fine.

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  2. I am glad that you are at the point where you can retrieve your scattered boxes. DH and I are planning the retirement scenarios, too - it really is a rather unnerving and freaky process. You've had so much to decide on in the past few months, I can understand why the Big R decision would be extra hard.

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  3. Oh Glen, you can't know how much I feel for you. The things don't count for everything, but they count for something. The flood probably freaked Frank out and he's seen how much it has cost. It could explain why he's not willing to retire. You've both had so many stressors that it's amazing you aren't in worse shape. I know we've been saying it for a long time, but just hold on for a while longer.

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  4. I agree with Kathleen you are still grieving all the losses. That takes time. We grief for many things not just people. Each of the pieces you lost was something you loved. They mattered to you. Your feelings are real and they are valid.

    Don't push Frank to hard. I pushed my husband into retirement and he is still not totally happy about his loss of identity. I am now facing the retirement question and am having trouble walking away from the paycheck.

    We work hard all our live and bring in money. Now we have to figure out how to live on the savings. It is an adjustment. And another loss. Frank may not be ready for that so soon after all the losses you have both already suffered. It has been his constant.

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