Saturday, May 7, 2011

I want to tell you about my cheap, but accomodating, husband

He really is cheap.  He makes a nice living, we live very well.  I have my toys to play with and he has his.  But he has no clue as to how to make anything special for anyone.  He just doesn't even try, probably because we have been married for so long that he doesn't even have to anymore.  He just comes home and thinks my life is complete. 

When I took the last cooking class with Ann, I began lusting after a really nice Cook's Knife.  I thought I wanted one for myself.  I told that to my cheap, but accommodating husband, thinking that it would be an easy thing for him to get me for Mother's Day.  He wouldn't have to put too much thought to it.  After all, I did birth his daughter for him. 

He says, "But you have knives."  So I took him to the mall and showed him the plethora of knives in Williams Sonoma.  And he was awestruck.  Not by the knives, but by the prices.  He is, after all, my CHEAP, but accommodating husband.  I knew that he would eventually call the daughter I birthed for him and ask her opinion.  And I knew the daughter I birthed for him would say buy the most expensive one in the store, because she is the antithesis of cheap.  (I warned Andrew of this before he married her but he did it anyway.)

Still not really believing he could actually spend the money he must have gone to the mall by himself and looked in other stores because on Friday he comes to me suggesting we go to the mall to look at knives.  The pretense here is that he wants to make sure, not just sure - doubly sure, that he gets the right one for me.  I agree and we go.  He is, after all, my cheap but ACCOMMODATING husband.

At the mall he guides me to Sears, the knife section.  Once there he sweeps his arms out like Vanna White offering a new blank puzzle to the audience, and says, "The best one here is $99.99 and it is on sale for $79.99.  And you get 25 pieces and it comes with its own wooden knife holder!  How cool is that?"  I did say he was my CHEAP but accommodating husband, right?

I was not impressed by this glut of knives all in one wooden holder.  I wanted just one nice cook's knife, not a who 25 of them.  So I guided him once again to Williams Sonoma.  We talked to the wonderful lady about knives and she gave us a lot of information about the knives they sold.  She took out 8 of the various Western cook knives.  I held all of them and found two I particularly like the heft of.  She then took out a few Eastern cook knives we replayed the process.  I settled on two of the Western style knives.  The Eastern ones were nice but I preferred the weight of the Western style knives.

Frank was beginning to pull at his collar.  After about 15 more minutes of this, he began to look like he was going into anaphylactic shock. 

We repeated the process for several of that manufacturer's knives and we finally decided on what I wanted.  I also wanted a honer and a sheath for the knife since I have nowhere to put a metal knife bar and I don't want more stuff on my counters.  The knife I chose was $119.99.    He was now in full blown rigor.  But when the decision was made, he says to me, "You go and try some of the Carbonated Lemonade and Expresso Drink and I will take care of this."  I left him to pay.  I know when he opened his wallet, moths flew out and I didn't want to be around when that happened.  Did I say he was cheap?

In my wanderings, I did notice some interesting items.  Strawberry corers - $19.99.  Star Wars cookie cutters - $48.99.  Linen napkins - $24 each.  Banana cutters - $27.99.  Some sort of grill pan that was too heavy for me to lift - $499.50.  Gold baking pans - $200 and up. 

I never really thought there was much difference between the rich and myself, but I have since changed my mind.  The rich have much better stuff.  But I was going to have one of their knives, and I was going to savor that moment.

It was taking my cheap but accommodating husband a very long time to pay for these items for me for Mother's Day, so I wandered back toward him and the sales lady.  He had completed his transaction and he was now discussing the price of the honer.  It was as expensive as the knife and he was not sure it was worth it.  He is, after all, my CHEAP but accommodating husband.

I suggested he exchange that one for the cheaper one of a different line if he was concerned about the price. I also said if he didn't want to spend that much money on me for Mother's Day he could return the entire purchase and we would go to Sears. 

We walked out of the store with my little bit of rich people's stuff in a nice large Williams Sonoma bag that he carried on his arm all the way to his 10 year old Honda.  We stopped for gas at Sam's Club on the way home. 

After all, he is my cheap, but ACCOMMODATING husband.  And I did in fact, birth his daughter.



  1. Wonderful story. I laughed out loud. have a super day tomorrow and don't cut your finger with your new knife. Did you know you are less likely to cut yourself with a very sharp knife?

  2. OMG - LOL!!! Thomas is made from the same stuff. Only, he would have managed somehow to talk me into the entire 24 piece set (including the wooden block) and it would have been all my idea.

    Hugs - Marie

  3. Ooh! Heinkels? Wursthof? What knives did you decide on? Don't cut yourself.

  4. Oh you have to share which knife you ended up getting! I have missed my good knives so much. My husband is currently in California picking up our belongings. Right before he left I told him that I really miss our knives. He agreed. I keep my eye out for sales and we're now up to three but I have to say one brand that others have raved about I wasn't too fond of.

  5. My cheap but accomodating husband bought me flowers and something else that he hasn't given me yet. Because I told him it was mother's day on Sunday and he needed to get me a present. :)

  6. Great story! Happy Mother's Day to you and enjoy that knife!

  7. I have one of those and he is proud of being cheap and accommodating! As for Mother's day gift, he figures I have him so what more do I need. LOL

  8. I love this post - cause I do love a good knife!! After I discovered how wonderful they were, I started buying one knife each year for my two sisters - they are really enjoying building up their collection!!

    Also - got my Quilter's Newsletter Magazines yesterday - I don't know which was better - getting something from Baton Rouge, or the magazines themselves - I can't get over how much fun it is to read through them.. thanks!!!
    Kate the Quilting Professor

  9. Reading your beautiful and entertaining prose is truly a highlight of my day. My husband (not cheap but broke) commented the other day about how much he loves our one good quality knife. I'm sure you will enjoy yours. Your story reminds me of my brother-in-law, el cheapo. He and my SIL were visiting from Minnesota, she wanted to go shopping at a top mall here in Chicago, but he was too cheap to park the car so he stayed outside and circled the block while she shopped for maybe 20 minutes. Moths out his wallet? I loved that part.


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