Thursday, July 25, 2013

I deserve a lazy day

I really do. I deserve a lazy day.  I have done absolutely nothing today. And I deserve a day of lazing.

I did take the dogs for a walk, and will never do that again.  They were so bad.  While I was walking the three bad dogs Carrie called on my cell and I was talking to her while wrangling them down the street.

A man appeared on the opposite side of the street with a well behaved boxer and some sort of little white fluffy thing.  Also well behaved.  Mine, of course, were anything but.

I stopped, stepped on the lead of one, which one, I wasn't sure.  They were all twisted and who knew which line went to which dog.  Turns out it was the baddest one, McGee, who was deep-barking his fool head off.   It held him fast.  Chloe the Smelly Basset had thrown herself down in the grass and wasn't moving anyway.  DiNozzo just barked.  The man and the well behaved dogs moved on down a side street.

When I finally got semi-control over my pack we moved down the opposite street.  It was a cul de sac.  There is a neutral ground in the center of the cul de sac.  We headed for it.  Not by my choice, mind you, I am totally helpless when the three head in the same direction.  I have to go where the pack goes.

Unbeknownst to me, Chloe had told the boys there was a big juicy pile of poop there she wanted.

So we were on a direct collision course straight for that pile of poop.  So when I realized she had grabbed it in her fetid mouth, I had already lost.

But I was pissed I had let that like an idiot I dove in.  I was determined to win, and she was determined to win.  Neither of us did.  But I did get my finger into the place where the vet took out those two teeth.      And there I stood.....with a handful of some strange dogs poop.

I threw it away from everyone.  I hoped it was far enough.  I was pulled off in an opposite,direction by a mass of Basset.

Now I had my phone covered with poop so I hung up on Carrie and stuffed it into my pocket.  Which got my pocket full of dog poop.  I just knew I was going to put my poop hand on some leash.  And they were inexorably tangled beyond reason.  So I just did.

On the way home, Chloe twice threw herself down twice.  I roughly pulled her up and kept the pack moving toward clean.

Finally home, I unhooked everyone, threw the leashes into a bucket of water and stripped to take my own bath.  I really didn't care what the dogs did at that point.

Everything, including me, is clean now. much better.  Will I do this again tomorrow?  No way.... Maybe with two dogs and no Chloe.....darn, you will probably see me racing down the street behind the unit of control pack!

Please, just don't laugh and hand me some hand wipes.


  1. Sorry, after I gasped in horror, I laughed! You deserve to have a lazy day after that fiasco!

  2. Omg! ROFL! Your life is like an I love Lucy episode! Thank you for the laughter , I can so identify . Why is it whenever I see people with Bassets , they always have more than one? Do they come in pairs?


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